I realized quite suddenly this morning that my undergraduate career ends a month from tomorrow – much sooner than I thought. In a way, of course, this is very exciting, because it is the motivation for going to college to begin with: walking across the stage after sitting through more speeches than we care to listen to in order to accept a diploma, the symbol of all the hard work, knowledge, stress, relationships, and growth that we have experienced and acquired through our (hopefully) four years. While there is always the unknown factor, at least I know where I am headed for the next two years, and this is a great source of comfort.
I wrote at the beginning of the year how strange it was to be in my final year, because time has seemed to accelerate through my time at Erskine. I remember thinking about how much more I had left to do and how distant graduation seemed, so much so that I didn’t “feel” like a senior. Now, though my four years still seem like they flew by without stopping to be enjoyed, moving into Carnegie and being an awkward freshman seems like it was so long ago. Everything seems very distinctive, really – the plays, concerts, tests, papers, formals, movies, Moffat meals, meetings, late nights – and I feel like college was maybe not so short. (Don’t worry, I’m not going to barrage the blog readers with memories and anecdotes. . . at least today.)
With all of these reflections, I have what I assume is a range of normal emotions right now, from excitement to wistfulness, but overall I really just feel calm. It’s not quite resignation, but also not apathy; I’m not sure what to call it. I guess, overall, I’m just enjoying the feeling of approaching a pleasant end. When I leave in May I will be a little sad, but I know that I can and will come back to visit, and that I have made the most out of my time.
All this being said, I am looking forward to graduation; yet, I am not wishing my last month away, because I am glad to have a little more time at my soon-to-be alma mater.